by JP Esq | Apr 1, 2014 | Uncategorized
I like to read on planes.
It is a great time for me to zone out, to think, and to just be. Above the clouds, where the world looks beautiful and peaceful and the minutiae of life matters not.
But on this flight, I can’t read. Every sentence that crawls through my brain is muffled by the sound of my boiling anger, confusion, and general annoyance at the TSA and the need to continuously pat down my hair.
So far this has happened four times. Two trips. Both my departing and return flight screening.
I’m always on a plane. My better half lives 700 plus miles away and air travel is the most convenient way for me to maintain my sanity by ensuring we have regular visits. I spend enough time doing the airport security mambo that I’ve got this dance down to a gracefully choreographed ballet. I can get through the busiest metropolitan airports with ease. I travel light and I don’t draw attention to myself.
So imagine my sheer confusion the first time a TSA agent said “we need to pat down your hair”.
Huh, say what?!
Listen, I’ve had the occasional bra line scan (thank you underwires) and the random “are you sure that’s an inhaler?” stops. I’m fine with that. When you’re scanning my entire Temple of the Holy Spirit I’m sure you can see some wiry looking things forming barriers around my lady parts. Fine, make sure that’s what they are.
Let’s be clear: I have enough “prone to profiling” characteristics as it is being that I’m a mocha shade of brown topped with this natural head of hair. But my hair is not HUGE. My hair doesn’t even cover my ears. And even if it was, is your Advanced Imaging Technology body scanner not smart enough to determine the difference between a kink, a coil, and I don’t know – A METAL SCREW?! If not, I have questions.
But mainly I have anger.
You have given me no reason to believe that you patting down my hair amounts to anything other than profiling. You may as well grope my breasts because that’s how violated I feel when you pat down my hair for no other reason than you think you should. And it makes me angry enough to interrupt my in-flight reading to tap this out on my iPad because my brain refuses to linger on anything else.
I don’t see you patting down anyone else’s crowning glory. When my hair was relaxed and four times my current length, yet still Rudy Huxtable thick, you never touched my head. Ever. I know it happens to non-brown people too, but the question remains: If no alarm has been tripped and no anomaly has been found, then what is the basis for an individual TSA officer to decide my hair needs a pat down if, according to the TSA, pat downs are not random? This is a question for which I find no suitable answer. In my world we call that arbitrary and capricious.
Myth: The TSA pat-down is invasive
Fact: Only passengers who alarm a walk through metal detector or AIT machine or opt out of the AIT receive a pat-down. For this reason, it is designed to be thorough in order to detect any potential threats and keep the traveling public safe. Pat-downs are performed by same-gender officers and all passengers have the right to a private screening with a travel companion at any time.
Ok.
- I did not alarm a metal detector or the AIT machine or otherwise have an anomaly according to the agent who scrunched my tresses.
- I did not opt out of the AIT scan.
Try again.
Myth: AIT cannot detect powdered explosives.
Fact: This is false. Advanced imaging technology is deployed specifically because of its ability to detect both metallic threats – which a metal detector would pick up – and non-metallic threats – which a metal detector would not pick up. This includes explosive material that can take the form of powders, liquids and gels and be used in an improvised explosive device made up completely of non-metallic material.
Ok.
- If it is true that this machine has technology advanced enough to detect metallic, non-metallic, and odd shaped threats, then seeing none of those and setting off no alarm should mean that my screen ends there, correct?
Try again.
Perhaps the administration of TSA protocols {which can be carried out by private companies} at some domestic airports is non-compliant. But, you, TSA, can not continue to hide behind the veil of policy as it is written and as you intend it to be carried out when people are experiencing otherwise. Are you keeping statistics on the “random” pat-downs? Is someone tallying every time you do a hair pat-down? If yes, then I should, as a matter of public record, be able to find these somewhere. I find nothing. So your that’s not our policy so that’s not happening stance is trite and dismissed.
You groping my hair for no reason other than the fact that it is hair in a style that can hide things even though I have considerably LESS hair now than I did before I stopped relaxing it, is frankly on my nerves.
Either put your hands in everyone’s hair, make it a deliberate random screen, or admit that you have a practice gone wrong and that you need to stop without some affirmative reason to believe I have something that needs checking other than a kink or coil or two.
Please. Because my mother taught me to always be polite.
by JP Esq | Feb 25, 2014 | Uncategorized
Initially, I wasn’t excited about reading this book. Easily a book you can read and digest on a slow weekend afternoon, my indifference quickly turned around. Complete with short stories and practical ideas for ways to increase the joy in your own giving, the author challenges readers to step outside of themselves and truly embrace a lifestyle of no-strings-attached giving. Though rooted in Christian principles, this book is not a theology lesson or doctrinal dissertation on biblical giving, which gives it universal application that can open the eyes and hearts of many.
Initially I was concerned that this book would wow readers with the great rewards that come from giving, and somehow provide a view of Spirit-led giving that was not holistic. I was encouraged and relieved to see the author address giving situations that don’t turn out the way we hope. Culture and life experiences give us filters and sometimes those filters can interrupt joyful giving and graceful receiving. However, the author encourages readers to move beyond their own bias and filters to truly experience the joy that is inherent when we give of ourselves to others in need.
If you have the desire to give in unique ways, but can’t seem to figure out the best way to go about it, this book is an excellent catalyst to a shift in thinking. The anecdotes, practical tips, and tactical strategies can give even the most shy giver a way to truly break boundaries and express love to another person.
I received this book free of charge from Waterbook Multnomah in exchange for this review. I was not required to post a positive review.
by JP Esq | Feb 15, 2014 | Uncategorized
Like so many of my sisters, my words are useless to describe my IF:Gathering/IF:Local experience. I won’t really try other than to say that it was powerfully unexpected and joyfully received. Within 20 minutes many of us had tears streaming down our cheeks.
Can. Not. Process.
I do believe my best friend, Jennie Allen, {no she isn’t aware that we’re BFFs} and her team unleashed a generation of women, ready to serve with reckless obedience and undaunted faith.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my experience was about mercy.
The “mercy of confirmation”.
As I read through one of my current books, that passage struck me. Breathless.
How is confirmation mercy? What forgiveness is there in confirmation? What is happening? I don’t understand my life.
Can. Not. Process.
My definition of God’s mercy always centered around forgiveness, forbearance, and withholding from me what I deserve in response to how I’ve acted, failed to act, or thought. But there, forty eight pages into this latest journey of words – there was a shift.
IF: mercy is “an act performed out of a desire to relieve suffering; motivated by compassion” THEN: confirmation God gives me out of His desire to relieve my suffering and angst as I labor over decisions, wrestle with taking the steps – in the right direction – His direction, struggle with discerning whether these audacious thoughts are my thoughts or HIS thoughts, out of His deep love and compassion for me can be nothing other than – mercy.
Those if I tell you, you won’t believe me series of events.
Mercy.
Those that song on that radio station that I just switched to because I don’t know why moments.
Mercy.
That thing she, who I have never met, said during a group chat that she let me crash during IF:Local, with other ladies who I have never met in a place they don’t even know I have a pull to move, that you still wouldn’t believe if I told you moment.
Mercy.
That verse that people keep pointing me to and that keeps popping up in random places.
Mercy.
Overwhelming yet soul-relieving mercy. I just hope that I have the audacity to summon my mustard seed of faith and recklessly obey.
Lord, have mercy.
by JP Esq | Feb 5, 2014 | Uncategorized
I have goals.
A full list of them {which I will share later}. But, right now my laser focus is on my one thing for 2014.
Reckless obedience.
My ultimate life goal at this stage is freedom, but I think I have been looking for it in the wrong places. Trying to create some ideal life by curating experiences and plans that should get me there. In learning to release that control I’ve also learned that to get to what my heart truly desires, I have to yield to the One who so carefully and lovingly placed those desires in me.
Because He knows the plans He has for me.
Because everything works together for my good as one who loves the Lord.
Because there are good works, prepared in advance specifically for me to do.
Obedience is hard. And for me, obedience itself is not enough. I want to be reckless in my obedience. I want to obey without thinking or caring about the consequences of my obedience.
Because if any negative thing comes into my life as a result of my obedience to God, I know He will cure it 1,000 times over.
My modus operandi for the past noneofyourbusinesshowoldIam years has been to obey when in my mind it made logical sense. That was my test; God isn’t going to ask me to do something that doesn’t make sense, right? Absolutely wrong. Usually it is those things that make no worldly sense, seem like they came from the sky, and produce an initial reaction of “I’m not doing that!” that require blind faith, total trust, and reckless obedience.
I want to cultivate my heart as a servant, opening myself to the freedom of walking in the shadows of the Great Architect. I don’t have to have the answers. I don’t have to figure it out. I don’t have to plan or know every detail.
There is freedom in surrender.
Obedience is my gateway. It is my pathway to anything else I desire in this life. Because He gave me those desires, then I know He will lead me down the only path that will fulfill them 100%.
I just have to listen.
And trust.
And act.
by JP Esq | Jan 24, 2014 | Uncategorized
Nestled deep inside my brain, a propensity for comfortable predictability has been my guiding force through much of my life. As I enter my second act, I’ve tried to intentionally embrace the unknown and find freedom in the spontaneous moments of life. It is not the most innate part of my being, but it is something I work at, on purpose, these days.
In visiting myMister this past week, I took a leap and did what they were doing in Rome. And by Rome I mean the
DC Tattoo Expo.
We stumbled on the last day of this event and decided to check it out. A couple of laps and a few hours later: INKED!
It is a {very} small reminder for me to focus on the things that matter most – the things with infinite impact that last for ever. The things that boil down to Faith, Hope, and Love. This life can be so tough at times, but an upward gaze with a focus on the things that have eternal benefit will provide just enough juice and joy to keep you going.
One small step on this journey of letting go and living free.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 [NIV]
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 [NIV]
Recent Comments